Coincidence, Con, or Kismet?

Question:

I recently met someone on a dating site. We hit it off really well. I did not think much of it except that we both live in the same small town and work in a nearby city.

The next morning, I was getting an energy drink on the way to work. I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Again, I didn’t think much of the woman who caught my eye, however, I had a feeling I knew her. I disregarded it and continued to my car for my hour long drive to work. I noticed a car parked right next to me, which I though might be her car from the photo on the dating site. Again, I left it alone and continued.

At work she messaged me on the board and we continued via text messages. She asked if I would like to meet her at one of the local biergartens. I said yes.

After work she texted me that she was going to get a gift for her friend on the way to a party. I was on the way to get some groceries next to where she was going to pick up the gift. Again, I didn’t think much of it except, I thought it would be weird if I saw that same car on the way to the store. I was going under the turnaround and noticed that same car at the light turning to the right, close to one of the stores that sells what she was going to buy for a gift.

Needless to say, at this point, I was positive I was going to meet her at the party for the first time, not even 24 hours after we met online. We had a really great time together and closed the place down.

Anyway, I just wanted to get your thoughts on this. Thank you.

-Michael

Answer:

Hi Michael.

You know, whenever I get a question about synchronicity, it almost always deals with love — meeting one’s destined partner.  As I discuss in my book Active Consciousnesslife’s critical junctures — meeting one’s beloved, getting an important job, achieving some major life realization — is often accompanied by uncanny synchronicities that seem to “bring” you there.  There is often a sensation of excitement, joy, and peaceful knowing that occurs as well. For example, in the case of the story of how I met my husband Steve (described in Active Consciousness), the whole period of time was  suffused with an excited, almost electric, quality. In addition, both Steve and I somehow “knew” that we were destined for each other within a week.  All this, despite the fact that I had experienced years of unsuccessful relationships.  We didn’t get married for another 2 1/2 years, but I remember looking at myself in the mirror that first week, and saying to myself: “Don’t sabatoge this one!”  By the way, Steve and I have been together now for 36 years.

My simple answer to your question is:  It’s too soon to say.  In your case, your answer will probably only be known in hindsight.  But given the number of “uncanny coincidences” you are experiencing with this woman, I would stay alert to the possibility that this might indeed be kismet. Are you feeling an unusual sense of joy and electricity in the air?

On the other hand, there are two other explanations.  One is that you both live in the same small town.  You never noticed her car before because you hadn’t seen it in a photo you paid attention to — as you had on the dating site.

Another explanation is that this woman had noticed you before, had become interested in you, and was essentially “being in the right place at the right time” in order to get to know you.  This may sound like some kind of nefarious con-job, but it might be totally innocent and earnest on her part. She just likes you! Once again, hindsight will tell the full story.

Of course, we can also con ourselves when it comes to love. This isn’t true for your story, but in some of the letters people have written to me, they have essentially conned themselves into believing that seemingly-meaningful coincidences indicate that a specific person is “the one” — despite the fact that their love is not reciprocated or the person they love doesn’t even know who they are!  I tell them this:  you can’t make someone love you. In fact, it is spiritually unwise to try to do so.  If a love connection is kismet, it will most likely eventually happen.

I hope this answers your question.  And I hope it does work out for you.  In the meantime, enjoy life’s mysteries!

-Amy

 

 


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