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Habits — 2 Comments

  1. Hi Amy!
    It was nice to hear from you, thank you for your reply.
    I like the thoughtful way you approached the couple in the theater. You were mindful of your own natural response and then examined it and replaced it with a more compassionate one. And not just a clinical one either. There is a difference. My hope, when I similarly “catch” myself in that situation, is that over time, the learned, deliberate, thoughtful response will replace the first one altogether. I don’t know if I should hope for that though because it seems to me that habits always involve NOT thinking. I don’t want to de-sensitize but rather question and better define my values, you know?
    Today I’m going to try to be conscious of all the habits I have. I have changed two things lately that were habits that I decided were not in line with my values. One is that I stopped dying my hair. I have long black hair and my daughter likes to tell me that I now look like Cruella Deville, which is a name based on the combining of the words cruel and devil. I have a long list of reasons why I have made this choice but I won’t bore you with that. I also deactivated my Facebook account. I was never obsessed with it like I know some people are, but it was a distraction that paid little in the way of benefit towards the larger goals in my life. It’s only been day two of that last one, so we’ll see if I stick with it as I’d like to. I confess I also did it to avoid drama in my extended family that is going on right now.
    I also experienced another change, on Sunday. My sweet and loving dad died after 86 years on this planet. The doctors told us over 20 years ago that he wouldn’t last another year with his stroke risk and weight. But oh he did. I will be traveling to Orange County for the services in the next week or so. I sure hope that I can keep my focus on how I want to behave and not get pulled into habits, mindsets, and defenses that were formed in my childhood. I have a lot of bullies in my family. Wish me luck!
    Well, it’s been nice spending these few minutes with you :-). I really enjoy reading the compassionate and educated world view you have, and I like to imagine that when I write my thoughts, you understand.
    All the best,
    Rosie

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